Wordless Wednesday

SO........

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing
BUSTED!!!

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

Kicking Me From Both Sides

The first time I felt her kicking I was lying in a hammock with her brother on a Saturday afternoon, trying to find a comfortable position. I have this photo to remind me of that beautiful moment....just the three of us:


Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

I don't remember how far along I was the first time I felt Grayson kicking but I feel like it was much later than this, or perhaps he had been kicking me for a while and I just assumed it was gas. The second pregnancy you kind of just know more.....I think.


With Grayson, my pregnancy was very slow and a bit scary. Every little pain sent me rushing to the phone to call my O.B. or my best friend. "Is this normal??? What about this? And this??" I kept wanting to rush to the very end so that I could see his sweet little face, and toes, and hands. I wrote Grayson letters, asked him questions, played him music, could not imagine his face or how it would feel to hold him in my arms, to watch him grow from tiny dancer to human being. (I have questions for her, too, of course, but this time, they do not come from a place of fear.)


This time, I'm not scared and it's flying by way too quickly. This is the last time I will ever feel these feelings, the nausea, the kicks, the incredible feeling to know that there is a life growing inside me. How incredible. So, I have enjoyed them all and tried so very hard to live in each moment, each day. I have a close community of friends, who are mothers, I turn to, reading their words, relating, feeling support from. I have more than a vague idea of what I'm going to experience the moment I meet my new baby for the first time...


...So clearly I remember the moment Grayson emerged, so small and so beautiful. So perfect. Shock and awe.

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

Awe that grew more and more punch-drunk through the weeks, months, years that followed.

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

Fall: 2007.

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

And now, two and a half years later, never have I been more in awe of him or anyone.

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

There's something very special about this pregnancy. Something I wasn't prepared for-- the double whammy of feeling the kicks of my unborn baby at the same time I'm wrestling with the one who was. Grayson will always be my "baby" of course but he's a big kid, now. Old enough to pick out his shoes in the morning.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing Old enough to tell me "I'm being mean" when I tell him to put on his shoes before he goes outside. Old enough to ride the horsey ride at Hacienda all alone.


Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing



The other night, my mom stayed with us, so we let Grayson sleep in our bed, sleep between us, like he did in his infancy, on a pillow between Kev and me, his little hands wrapped around my seemingly enormous fingers.


"Cu-doh me, Mommy," Grayson said.


He turned his back to my chest and pulled my arm over his waist like a seat belt. And we lied like that until morning, the two of us as close as we could possibly be and yet... separate. Meanwhile, the baby was kicking me from inside, dragging her feet, poking a knee against my abdomen as Grayson squirmed in my arms.


Such moments produce feelings I will never experience again: holding such loved life in my arms and my body, Gray's hands pulling on mine on the outside, as foot-taps on the inside become familiar.


I'm getting to know you by the way you move inside me.



Week twenty-three

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

Clearly I am most excited about this pregnancy because of Grayson.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing Because he was once kicking the same walls she is. And now, two and a half years later I have this perfect little person by my side, bouncing in my lap, rocking my world, loving me back, which can only mean that very soon, she will be too. And preparing to fall in love all over again?



Love on horseback.


I can't begin to imagine something better in all of life.

What If She Isn't.... A She?

I had a dream the other night that I gave birth to triplet boys. Obviously this was just a dream. There's only one baby in there (thank you Jesus) but I got to thinking afterward about the accuracy of ultrasounds.

If you're like me, you hear stories every day about your mom's friend's friend's sister-in-law's neice who was told she was having a girl, painted the nursery pink, personalized all towels, onesies and bedding with her (would have been) initials only to hear the nurses shriek, "IT'S A BOY!" upon delivery. One rarely hears these stories in reverse, however. Boy parts look very penis-like on ultrasounds, while girl parts look kind of like... un-penises. Regardless, I'm sure there are plenty of stories of parents who painted the room blue and bought monster-truck bedding for the crib only to welcome a girl. I've just never heard one.

Nothing is ever 100% accurate.

I've had a total of two ultrasounds. Only one of those has confirmed that it's a girl. But......just what if.......?

Not that I don't adore boys. My favorite little person in the world
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printingis one and I'm totally a boy mom. I don't know the first thing about mothering a daughter and have been practicing with dolls these last four months BUT BUT BUT BUUUUUUUT.... You see...


...I've been shopping*:


Boho-dorable Dress by: Baby Sara


Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

Heart Onesie Dress by: Twirls and Twigs

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

Alot:


Dress by: Misha LuLu (my all-time favorite girly clothes designer, btw.)

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

French Holiday OMG cuteness, made by: Hula Mula

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

She's got a closet full of 0-2T and she is still in the womb. I have a feeling that Daddy is in trouble....."No honey, I didn't pay the cable bill because I had to buy this amazingly, adorable dress for Christmas 2015".


Heck! I've even been thinking of taking up sewing just so that I can make dresses for a fraction of the price.....but remember when I told you we put stickers on Gray's Easter eggs instead of dyeing them????? Yeh....I'm not really the Martha-Stewart-esqe kind of Mom.


Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing


And tags? Ha! I've ripped tags off pretty much everything already, washed the layette in Dreft. (You know the drill....)and I still have 3 1/2 months to go.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing


I will say this: There's no monogrammed towels or bloomers (just haven't gotten around to it, is the thing) and no pink walls...wait, scratch that....as of this past weekend there are now very much indeed pink walls and girly bedding (pictures to come).....so if she does happen to be born with a penis, well?

Weeeeellllll????? Then, like it or not, (he'd) have to wear dresses. Which also means that when it came time for the kid to be put in therapy? I'd just bill my OB.

There. I feel SO much better now that I have a back-up plan.

*I am not wealthy, nor do I try to look like or act like I am.....all adorable outfits were purchased from my favorite re-sale shop in South Lake for under $10......a piece.

Toddler Talk

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

"I'm on the phone now, be quiet please" - while holding a calculator up to his ear and shushing me.

"Thank you my help Mommy" - He's thanking me for helping him.

"I not need a nap.....I'm awake" - trying to persuade me that he doesn't need to go to sleep.

"I'm soooooo bad" *cough cough*...telling this to the ER doctor on Friday night....he means his cough is so bad.

"I cuddle you, Mommy".....while crawling under my blanket on the couch.

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing
Melts My Heart!!!!!

On Hating Shopping Carts

You know those cute shopping carts with the plastic trucks on the front at ground level? I hate those. Hate them.


Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

They seem like such a good idea - a truck, often with steering wheels, to help the wee ones pass the time while the parents grab apples and eggs. The carts come with seat belts, and they're fun and festive and hooray for transportation!



But the wee ones (at least the one related to me) only love the idea for the first 1/4 of the shopping trip, and then they want to climb out - which is made much easier by their proximity to the ground. If they can't climb out, they can lean out the side, drag their knuckles on the floor right next to the finger-pinching wheels, and moan loudly.



Or, the kiddo wants to "help" and grab food off of the shelves when you make the mistake of parking the cart too close to the cans of soup.



Of course, with the massive size of the kiddie truck carts you either bump the cereal off the shelves, or you block the aisle - and sometimes, if you're an especially clumsy shopping cart driver like me, you do both. The truck carts always seem to be wobbly and especially challenging to navigate. The wheels always want to go left when I want to go right. It makes me wonder if the steering wheel down in the truck cab is more than just show.



And then there's the typical child's response when the truck carts are absent. Now that Grayson knows they exist, he always wants one. Most stores seem to have two of the truck carts, and those two are already in use 90% of the time, leading to a serious case of toddler envy. The truck carts are a tantrum instigator, and I most certainly do not need another one of those.




They're also a bit too grimy for my tastes, and I'm actually OK with my child eating a little dirt. The seats get a little crusty, and the seat belts rarely work. They have perfect supermarket destruction range - it's so easy to tear open a bag of flour or yank a couple of cans of peaches to the floor. Not that my child would ever do that......



My favorite set up for food purchasing with child is a stroller at Sprouts or the farmers market - the kid is strapped in, but can see everything (and can't reach it or demand sugar cocoa blue frosted high fructose happy cartoon character junk snacks) and even has a handy little tray for mama approved snacks, which is only germed up by the child's own boogers. And if the mama approved snacks are scarffed down too quickly.....one may be inclined to pinch a couple of grapes off the vine, snag a cutie orange, or snatch a handful of organic sugar free gummy bears.....not that I would ever do that.



Actually, scratch that. It's easiest when the child is still in utero, especially at about 22 weeks, when you're no longer gagging at the scent of the fresh fish and you can walk without waddling.....and your toddler is home with Daddy safely tucked in bed dreaming of a giant dump truck full of gumballs.



For some reason, people look at you weird when your almost 3 year old is sitting in a stroller rambling off his ABC's....like he should be in school or something. Unfortunately, I don't have a handy dandy kangaroo pouch to make grocery shopping easier and Daddy comes home ready for dinner.....not wanting to wait around the 2 hours it takes me to pick up a few things at Target.


In a perfect world, every store would have the "mini carts" like Market Street....
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo PrintingA Market Street without the giant walk thru winery just begging kids to pull bottles off the shelves.......in a perfect world.


I guess I'll just have to stick with the carts.

BTW.......

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

The sonographer says she is 99.9999% sure........

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing
I'm gonna keep my receipts just in case!!

Which Looks Better??????

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing

We'll find out tomorrow!!!