The Fickle Pregnant Belly

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A few days ago, my husband was sick. Supposedly. No, really, he was. He has another sinus infection. It's possible he whined a little. Alot. His body was worn down, he was hungry but nothing sounded good, and he just wanted to take a long hot shower and go to bed. Sound like anyone else??? Yeah, me.



I was not very sympathetic, because that's how I've felt every day for the past 12 weeks. Try having a little tailed being growing inside of you and having to run at the sight of everything in your fridge and trying not to puke on your child as you change his wet diapers.....not to mention poop, I wanted to say, but didn't. Instead I very maturely slammed cabinet doors and ignored him. I should not be whining, because I am much better off than some pregnant women who are visiting the porcelain shrine multiple times a day their entire pregnancy. I am proud to say I have not thrown up in 4 days. Four! That's huge!! The last episode was Sunday morning at my parents house after breakfast.


A friend told me it's like being hungover constantly, but without the fun of dancing and margaritas.


Kevin is better today....(crazy what a little Nightquil and Mucinex can do) and I am still pregnant - apparently, the little bean is now the size of a lime. Or an over-stuffed Texas size olive in a dirty martini I can't drink. In the last few days, my stomach has been doing very weird things, like wanting to eat a BLT with Avocado and spicy mustard on wheat bread right now, though it's 9:45 am. The guy at the deli used white bread - I have an aversion to white bread even when I'm not pregnant - but I focused on the bacon and the mustard and it went down OK. I also have had cravings for Milky Ways, Swedish Fish, ice cream with extra ice cream on top, sour skittles and anything with capers. These are not the sort of mild cravings that I can ignore. They are aggressive, beasty, hyena in heat cravings. I go from wanting to puke and thinking that Red Velvet Cake Cheesecake with thick icing should be banished from a five-mile smell radius, to needing to eat three squares of lasagna at one sitting....no really, I did....just now while typing this.



Since I'm a little emotional, my reaction to thwarted satisfaction of cravings is not very reasonable. Last time around, I wanted A-1. On everything. If I could've eaten A-1 pancakes smothered in A-1 syrup washed down with an A-1 shake, I might have done just that. At Which Wich, I requested A-1 on a sandwich. There was no A-1 in a squeezy bottle huddled with the other sandwich sauces. "Um....this is a sandwich shop, how do you not have......" The sandwich maker looked at my seven months pregnant belly and the tears forming in my eyes, and said, "Wait a minute, let me check in back." He emerged with a bottle of A-1 (it very well could've been from the employee fridge, but I didn't care) I could've leapt across the counter and kissed him, had he not been toting a rather large knife.


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Maybe because I don't look pregnant, just bloated, my recent attempt to satisfy a craving at one of my favorite markets did not work as well. I wanted a chicken burrito bowl. Alas, one cannot get chicken burrito bowls unless it's after 11 am, because the rice and beans and such are not yet ready. This is very reasonable, unless you live in pregnant world, in which case it makes you want to sit down on the floor and cry. Instead, I wandered through the store until I came across something else - chicken fajita soup - that made me almost as happy as a warm bowl of rotisserie chicken mixed with beans and rice and lots of salsa. Almost. I may have also wanted birthday cake that day, but to no avail had no birthday parties to attend......so I went up to the bakery and bought a sheet cake. Yes, a whole sheet cake....just for me and baby.

Later that evening when Kev opened the fridge he asked, "Who's birthday is it?"

As I was about to answer in my most honest voice " oh, just a friends".....he interupted me with "really?"......you couldn't have just bought a slice?? You needed a whole sheet cake?"

Busted. I had forgotton that I had already had a square......or three.

Dang, now I want a burrito bowl again.