Dear Rylee: Happy 5 Months

As I type this, you are asleep on my lap, your perfect head warming my knee, your chubby monkey legs dangling comfortably across my thighs and one of your socks, as usual, hanging on for dear life as an almost-bare footie is revealed.



And it is with this I'd like to start my post--this adoration for babyhood once again. I never can get over it...this loving having babies. And I can honestly say that I know I won't look back with regret. I know I won't want to shake that younger version of myself years from now and tell her to enjoy it while she has it. Because I do. Every bit of it. I savor the weight of your body and the way it falls into the hammock of my arms. I drink in your breathy exhales and the way you root at my neck when I hold you close, smelling your mama's skin, wanting more.
I cherish every second of nursing, the way your tiny fingers curl around mine, your thin lashes batting as your brilliant blue eyes lock their gaze onto mine, the perfect pout of your pink lips as they latch on and the relief of all sixteen pounds of you as you settle into pure satisfaction. And you breathe--in and out, in and out--and with each suck, each breath, it's as if love is literally moving with the rhythm of our feeding ceremony.


There is such peace in my life when I'm mothering my babies. Not to diminish at all the beauty of toddler wonders--Lord knows that possesses its own magic--but there is something so raw and beautiful about sustaining the life of the tiniest of forms and hanging on to the remnants of the physical connection we shared not so long ago. You grew inside me just a little over five months ago and I birthed you into this world and, as you grow and learn and drink in this universe, it's just a constant reminder of the amazement and beauty of life.



You, sweet girl, had me at hello. I may not have known it then, but you did. You had me just.like.that. From the very moment our eyes met in that pure white room, that innocent, animal like cry....I can see it all in my mind like it was yesterday.





I left you alone with Daddy overnight this past month for the very first time. And it was good for both of us. I was a sight to see riding in the car to Houston pumping every couple of hours. But you did great, sweet girl!! I knew that you would! And when I got home and our eyes locked, you gave me the biggest smile and secretly told me to never leave you again. I heard you.

I walked by the swing the other day and saw a little elephant toy had been rigged up to hang in view and, before I could ask, Grayson explained, "I did it. She likes it." I smiled and passed it off as one of those cute little brother things Grayson convinces himself is true, but then later I saw you laying in your swing.....talking to it.

So, I guess he's right.


You've also discovered that your little fingers and toes taste delicious and watching you tediously look for them and score on their arrival to your little mouth for some good sucking is like watching a good movie.




...and hello sweet little feet. If I had a penny for every precious picture we've taken of ripe little toes, well we'd be stinkin' rich.




Lively.


That sums you up in one word at five months.




Full of life and love and simply delicious.




I love you to the moon and back sweet Rylee Bug!!!

~Love Mom

Happy New Year!!!

We marinated steaks and grilled asparagus and put on our comfy clothes.




We wore masks, party hats, and tiaras and ate gourmet cupcakes.








We popped corks and drank spicy juice and tooted our own horns.





All as a party of four.





We put the babies to bed, popped another cork (or three), curled up on the couch in the movie room and exhaled.


As a party of two.



My heart is happy. Busy and overwhelmed at times. Frustrated and a bit sad once in a great while. But, most of the time...it clocks out content. And for that, I am grateful.

Last year, I dreamed of this.




And this year...I have this.








I have this.



And I'm pretty sure, if you look for it, you do too.


Happy 2011!!!

This Christmas......

...we made a big 'ol delicious mess in the kitchen making cookies for Santa. And it was a beautiful mess. With squillions of little, red sprinkles everywhere. And it made me really miss Bentley...she would've had a hay day licking them all up off the floor.


We prepared a Mexican feast of tamales, fajitas, enchiladas, homemade salsa and stuffed jalapenos and ate until our hearts were content and we could no longer breathe. We sat around the room watching the sheer excitement on the Little's faces as they got "the best present ever".






We played The Newlywed Game and laughed our heinies off at the ridiculous answers that our better halves gave......and some of us may or may not have pouted. Just a little. We celebrated two very special birthdays and even blew out their candles for them. After relighting and making their wishes............ we ate cake.


Red velvet. And brownie pie. And chocolate mouse pie. And key lime pie. And fudge.




Needless to say, we were on a sugar-induced high that lasted well into the wee hours of the morning. (1 a.m.)



I gained a few pounds and new smile wrinkles that night. After packing up the Little's and heading the long journey home (just kidding, we live .8 miles from my parents now), we sat out our cookies for Santa and tucked them in and let their tiny heads fill with sugar plum dreams.


And then it was.



Christmas.





Her first and his fourth. And it was perfect.


I'm very well aware that I will forever remember that exact moment. The way his flannel reindeer jammies hung on his body and the intent look on his face as he woke up that morning and made a beeline to his little tree in the playroom and then turned with the saddest look ever and said, "Mommy, Santa didn't come." "Yes he did, baby.....he put your present on the fireplace.....see?" I guess with all the talk about Santa and explaining that he brings one very special toy to good little girls and boys on Christmas Eve while you're sleeping and that he needs cookies and milk to get him through the night because he travels all over the world in such a short time frame......we forgot to mention that he comes down the chimney.



Hmmmmmm. I can't believe I forgot that part. So, he ran to the fireplace and all was right with the world.




I will forever remember how content she was....just laying in front of the fire watching her snow globe. And we opened presents from one another and took little breaks here and there to play with the new and then opened some more.


We had brunch with Nana and Pawpaw and then headed to Mimi and Pappi's for more celebrating. And that's where we got the best.present.ever.


Aunt Emily had very sneakily flown in from Cali without anybody knowing! What a wonderful surprise!! I walked in the kitchen at my in-laws and there she was! It was awesome. And awesome to see the surprise on everyone else's face as they realized she was home.




That night we ate Mexican pile-on and opened presents with the boys. The little girls didn't quite make it.....they needed their beauty rest. I think Grayson said "Oh my gosh" no less than 20 times as he opened all of his goodies. They stayed up all night making hot dogs and hamburgers and hot coffee for everyone.

We slept in on Christmas morning and woke to yummy breakfast casserole and cinnamon rolls.....and then it was the girls turn. They both were decked out in their Christmas pretties and just giggled and cooed at all of their sweet presents.







Mimi made the most adorable matching purple corduroy dresses and dolls for them both. She also made each one of them a pillow and blanket to match their nursery....so very sweet and so special! After the girls were finished, we opened stockings and then all sat around for our traditional Christmas story. Each year, Uncle Mark reads the story of Jesus' birth aloud. The boys knew the story by heart and could answer all of Uncle Mark's questions. After the story, the boys made a birthday cake for Baby Jesus.


We sang Happy Birthday and had cake and sugar highs by 11:30. It was AWESOME! We left that afternoon and headed home to a house that looked like a bomb had gone off. This was, by far, my most favorite Christmas yet. Not because it was perfect, but because it was real and good and comfortable. And maybe....because of them.