I COULDN'T MAKE THIS UP IF I TRIED.........

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What do you do with $150 dollar universal remote when it's dirty?????


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You give it a good washing, of course!

Geesh! I can't turn my back on Grayson for one second without disaster striking.

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I just hope I can fix it before Daddy comes home........I foresee this one being "my" fault somehow!

I was getting ready to go to work when I thought to myself, "It sure is quiet....too quiet...way too quiet", so I walked into the living room and saw my son dunking the remote into Bentley's water bowl like an Oreo cookie in milk. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO Graaaaaaaaysonnn", I yelled, but it was too late, the remote was already saying "user error....malfunction". You see, it's one of those fancy schmancy remotes that's dummy proof.

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Not water proof or Grayson proof!

Now let me tell you the rest of the story, the reason why I was on the verge of tears when I walked into work an hour later.

As I pulled the remote out of it's bath, and started taking out the batteries to dry it, I smelled something. Something foul. Like poop. But, not my kids poop.....a much nastier poop. I looked down and Grayson had poop smears on his toes.

OH NO!!! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?????! I turned and looked towards the back door, and saw to my horror, little droplets of runny poop all over the carpet leading towards the patio!

AUGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I scooped Grayson up and put him in his bath tub (clothes and all) and started rinsing off BENTLEY'S POOP on his feet. He starts crying, I guess I scared him with all my screaming and AUGHHHHHHHH-ing. Then he starts screaming because the water is freezing. I dried him off and sat him down in his room and shut his door.

Well that just pissed him off even more........he started cursing my name because he didn't understand why he was being locked in his dungeon.

I didn't want him traipsing through the poop patch, you see. I had to go and analyze the situation first.

I grabbed the only carpet cleaner I had and about 11 rolls of paper towels and 17 washcloths and went to town scrubbing the carpet. It's 4:25 at this point......I have to be at work at 5.

So, son's screaming......I'm scrubbing..........Bentley's still pooping! On the patio. So after I clean up the living room carpet, I head out to the patio and just start laughing.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?????? Where's Ashton, cuz I know I'm being punk'ed!!! There's about 7 little land mines of poop on the patio. You have got to be kidding me!

Forgive me, but I didn't think to grab the camera and document this little episode.

I'll leave it at that. Tomorrow I will be calling Stanley Steamer to come and erase the nastiness from my carpet and hopefully my mind.

The patio has been washed and "resolved", but is closed until further notice.

Grayson has forgiven me. Kevin fixed the remote. All is as it should be.

Good night.