Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Wonderful Stink

When "it" Happens


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Somewhere down the line in every relationship, it happens. You go from holding in your farts to farting in each other's faces. From wearing makeup to bed to not wearing makeup at all. From talking dirty in bed, to really talking dirty:

"Grayson pooped the BIGGEST poop, today, dude. It looked like a dinosaur egg!"...

Some call this laziness. I call it intimacy. Being real. Not being afraid of being an idiosyncratic mess because Lord knows, we are all flawed.

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I wasn't sure what to expect from marriage, and now, four years later, I am starting to realize what it's all about: Being real.

The days of courtship and make-out sessions have been replaced with the comfort of zit-cream and picking each other's scabs. Push-up bras have been retired. Sexy lingerie is now used as a childproofing device.

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Because it doesn't matter anymore. No fluff. No fakery. No trying to cover blemishes with concealer. Or hiding tears. It's just being real with one another.

Marriage is about the half-eaten cake in the fridge,"I made it for you, but then I got hungry." It's about the late-night snack runs, even if they're the wrong kind of snacks ("You said you wanted pickles....you didn't say they had to be Valasic!!! You're right, babe...thanks for the Gerkins....") It's about trying. And messing up. And falling down. And getting up. And making up....even with pickle breath.

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And yet sometimes, I miss the days of romance. (I'm a woman. I can't help it.) And flowers at the door. And showers of compliments and kisses. And weekend getaways and spontaneous sex-a-thons. Because it's true what they say... All of that stuff does change. When you get married. When you have a baby. When you grow up. And yet... How much has really changed? I look at us then and I wonder...

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Sometimes it's hard to give up roses. But a marriage isn't about genetic perfection, the sweet fragrance we call, "romance". Marriage is about the flowers that grow wild in the sidewalk cracks. Often disguised as weeds and equally hard to manage. Blooming year round. Dandelions with wishes to blow against the wind. (If you believe.)

And I do. I believe. Even if I kick the sidewalk sometimes.

Because I am willing to trade all of that in for a night of stinky, cold feet and cookie crumbs in bed. And that's love, man.

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Smelling each other's less-than-pleasant fumes and giggling in bed until 2am. Gaining weight. Getting older. None of that matters. Who cares? It's just me and you.

Strip away the mask. Remove the black lace panty set. The makeup. The various deoderizers.

Marriage is about the wonderful stink. The morning after. Hungover and bloated. Without makeup.


Being able to bend over without sucking in stomach fat, or covering cellulite. Being real.

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And so today we celebrate four years of burping, farting, wrestling, wise-cracking, eye-rolling, your-mom-joke making, dish-breaking, Wii playing, music-blasting, ass-slapping, name-calling, cheek-pinching marriage.

Gone are the roses, perhaps. But the dandelions are here to stay, quietly growing in the cracks.

Happy 4th Anniversary, My Love!!! And thank Thank THANK YOU for the tulips at the door....I said I just wanted house keys for our anniversary and you had to go and get some tulips, too.

Now how 'bout some compliments and kisses?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Thank You For Being A Friend........

Maybe it's because I'm turning 30 in 2 weeks.......or maybe it's because my best friend is about to give birth to her second child, a son, tomorrow......or maybe, just maybe it's because I'm a Pisces and I'm an emotional roller coaster.....but:

It amazes me that I am constantly surrounded by friends. My friends.

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I have lived here a little over 5 years and have made a lifetime of friends. How did this happen?

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I remember moving here from Austin and not knowing a soul,

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except for my family and Kevin. I remember how scary it was finding a job and trying so hard to make friends. It was my senior year of high school all over again.

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Would they like me? Would I have to change to become one of them?

I'm not quite sure when it happened or even how. But I wake up each day and I'm surrounded. By love. I can't imagine my life without any of you!!

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Michelle:

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You are the one person I can turn to at any given time and just be me. I can laugh, cry, hyperventilate, or just sit on the phone for 30 minutes while your child asks you questions and mine whines in my lap. I love that our husbands can go have a beer with one another....just because. I love that when you ask your daughter who her best friend is, she says, "Grayson"...like duh, mom. I know it's cliche, but you really are the sister I never had.

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When my son is with you, I feel like he is still with me. A part of me. Because that's what you are, the better part of me.

Sharyn:

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Even though you are hundreds of miles away, every time we talk on the phone, it's like you are right here. You never left. And we don't get upset at one another because we haven't talked in ages....we just pick up right where we left off. Magic. I feel as though I were the one you grew up with and not Kevin. You and Mikey are "our best friends" and we need you to come home now. Please.

Melissa:

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I think of you as my "whatever" friend. And that's a good thing. A great thing. "Wanna go to the park?" "Sure, whatever." "Let's grab lunch, what do you feel like?" "Oh, whatever." "Ummm, I think your child just dropped a gummy bear on the ground (at the ball park...ew gross) and MY child just ate it!" "Oh whatever, he'll live!" I love you!! You are definitely my kinda gal! And maybe it helps that your husband is a rocket scientist! LOL!

Lindsay:

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You know what they say, "You can take the girl out of Whitehouse.....but," You have bloomed into this amazing mother right before my very eyes! You are like a little sister to me. Your make me smile on a daily basis. Just reading your words....you write exactly the way you talk and I love that about you. You are so genuine and such a comedian. We have shared some very intimate talks about our past and I know that we will be friends for life. I think it helps that our husbands share the same sense of humor, too. Poinsettia, anyone??

Kat:

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In five very short years, we have witnessed one anothers vows to our husbands, held each other's hands through some shaky family stuff, watched as we each brought another human life into this world, and have tackled the trials and tribulations of Cheesecake and "sinusitis" ;). You have given me the opportunity to share in your sweet little girl's life and watch her grow on a weekly basis and I will be forever grateful.

Dre:

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Although we don't see one another as often as I'd like, you are one of those friends who will forever be apart of me. You were the first to have a little boy after myself and that is one bond that will never break. I'm so proud of the mother that you've become. Mr. B is a lucky, lucky man. My little Baby Dre. You are my fabulous friend. The one who will wear Manolo's to get a pedicure and Prada to the Pumpkin Patch and jump up on stage at my wedding to sing your little heart out! I love, love, LOVE you! When times are tough, lean on your friends. We are all here for each other.


Lindsay:

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You just get me. Maybe it's because you, also, are the mother of a little boy and that in itself is enough. It doesn't matter how much time goes by, we always pick up right where we left off. You've helped clothe my child since he was born. Wow....if it wasn't for you.....You are always so giving.....whether it be clothes, toys, shoes, homemade 1st bday invitations, heck....you even made my blog! You are my most creative friend. We need another parents night out....it's been way too long!


Jessica:

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I can't remember life without you! What an amazing thing God did by making us neighbors. He just knew that something was missing from my life and that was you! It is the greatest feeling when you know you can leave your child with someone and they don't even care that you're gone. Our Aunt Jess. Thank you for bringing Dr McDreamy into my life and for being my friend. I love that I can text you, "wanna go to Hobby Lobby in 5?" and you are at my door in 3. You are an amazing cook and I'm so very proud of the woman you have become. Your "Derek" is out there, we just have to find him.

Lisa:

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I remember when I first started nursing and Michelle gave me your number. I never used it. I felt odd asking a stranger for advice but you are no stranger at all. You are so sweet and caring and I'm so very glad that God put you in my life. You are my crafty friend. I love that you make trains out of diaper boxes and pirate hats for my son. You always comment on my blog and make me feel special. Thank you for being a friend and thank you for all your advice! I will probably use your craftiness when it's time to decorate Grayson's room.

So it seems that I am just blessed beyond words and I just want to thank each and every one of you for being there for me. Thank you for every single prayer that I know you have all prayed that we find a house. It worked!

I see us all growing old together, going through menopause together,

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and holding each others hands while letting go of our children's as they walk up the steps to kindergarten. Together. I see us calling each other

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.....searching for advice on how to deal with 1st dates, proms, 1st cars.......weddings! We will be standing by each others sides as we lose our loved ones. Together. And giving away our sons and daughters to be married. Together. And welcoming our grandchildren to this world together.

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Oh what stories we will have!