A 1st and 4th.....

As I sit by the fire nursing my baby girl the night before Christmas Eve, I think of a newborn little boy, laying in a manger. And the sacrifice our Father made for people that would hate Him, and for people that would try to love Him, but would always be hurting Him and failing Him. And would I ever be able to fathom it? My baby?

I hold Rylee a little tighter and am thankful I don't have to make that choice. And as a Mother, I understand it completely.


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Before I put her to bed tonight, I smelled her. Just inhaled right in the crook of her neck. And she smiled. And I explained, as if she would understand...."I'm smelling you so I never ever forget because someday, I'm gonna want this moment back, right here."



I find myself saying that to her more and more.

And I kissed. And I smelled. And I squeezed. And I breathed in every bit of her love.

I want to stop the clock and just enjoy this a little longer.


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She doesn't know it's her first Christmas.....but I do.



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I love her.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing I love him and I love him, too.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing I do.

Whew. Just had to get that out of my system tonight.


Merry Christmas.

Dear Rylee, Month Four: Chubby Legs and All

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The fact that I have a girl is starting to sink in

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and I think the baby high just took me higher.


Four months ago, at this very moment, I was holding you for the very first time.

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Wow.

It's already going by too fast.



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Oh sweet Ry bug,

How can it be that four months ago you were born? Four???


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Today is the first day of your fifth month and I don't want to talk about it. You're so perfect just as you are right now that I'm having a very hard time parting with so much as an hour, a moment... Heck! I don't even want today to end because tomorrow you will be a day older.

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Uuuughh. Lots of emotions floating around with Christmas and the end of another year. So much love. When we arrived at Dr Terry's today, the nurses went crazy!! They were going on and on about how all week they were getting to hold the cutest babies all decked out in their Christmas outfits, and how you, by far, took the cake. I would have to agree.....

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there's really nothing cuter than a chubby cheek 4 month old in her Christmas pretties.


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Seriously.

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I held you today, so close to my chest, at the Dr.'s office, not wanting to ever put you down. And the scale reminded me of just how big you have gotten in these last few, precious months.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing15 pounds of the sweetest, most delicious taste of Heaven, right here in my arms. And to think that it's been all me, Mommas milk is pretty dang good, huh baby girl?

You have grown 2 inches in the last 2 months, putting you at 25 inches. Your sweet, little head has grown an inch....no wonder your little knit hats are getting snug.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo PrintingYou are continuously learning new things every day, like pulling your sassy in and out of your mouth all.by.yourself. You can roll from your tummy to back and almost from your back to tummy....your chubby, little legs just kick and kick so hard trying to turn over until you just give out. Everything goes straight to your mouth!
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo PrintingI thought you might be teething already since you drool like a leaky faucet, but Dr. Terry says that's just an oral thing that starts around 4 months...no swollen gums just yet! You are wearing sz 2 diapers and 3-6 month clothes. You are nursing about every 4 hours during the day and then cluster feeding from 6-midnight. You take about 3 naps every day, two short and one long. You and I take our baths together and then you are in bed around 8 and you usually need one more snack before snoozing till 5 a.m. Mommy tried to put you to bed un-swaddled the other night and you were up every.single.hour. on the hour. Not fun for me. I learned my lesson and after talking to your Dr today, she said to keep you swaddled as long as you will let me.

She also said no solids till 5 1/2-6 months. Oops. I gave you rice cereal the other night....good thing you despised it with everything inside of you. I don't know why I did it, I keep saying I don't want to rush anything with you....food, juice, crawling, walking, talking.....just stay little. Forever.


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Rylee, since the day you were born, maybe even before, I've felt like every moment with you is like Christmas morning. I really don't know how else to explain it.

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There is nothing like a Mama and her little boy. My heart will always feel this way.



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But it wouldn't be truthful for me to hide the sparkles in my heart and the tingles from the top of my head to the ends of my toes that I have for you, my sweet baby girl.

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As I dress you for our Christmas celebration at church tomorrow night in your ruffled tights, beautiful dress, and bow for your head I will feel like every crevice in my being is complete.

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It's in little moments like this that I truly feel like I have it all.

I'm where I am. Wherever that is. It's where I should be.

Recognizing I'm so incredibly blessed that it can not be contained. That's the abundance I seek.


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Four months. Four beautiful, incredible months. I can't imagine you any other way than how you are right now, in this very moment, asleep in the nook of my left arm as I type with my right, clinging to what's left of your infancy, holding on to your tiny hands for dear life.


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Time moves far too quickly. Someone please invent a pause button.


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It's your first Christmas, Rylee, and it's going to be so special.



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Much love little angel, so much love.

~Momma