Monday, November 23, 2009

The Kindness of Strangers

Luke 7:5

*Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."




I don't know your name, I don't know if you believe in angels, I'm not sure if you even believe in God.

What I do know, is that my God sent you to be my son's guardian angel on Saturday and for that, I will be forever grateful to you.


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It all happened so fast.

I was sitting in my garage, reading a magazine......waiting for 12 o' clock to come so I could close down the garage sale that had been exhausting me for the last two days. It was twenty minutes past eleven and I noticed you had an overnight guest who was putting her suitcase in her car. A few minutes later, you and your guest and your wife got in your SUV and started backing down your driveway. When you put your car in drive, you stopped abruptly and waved to me through your window. I waved back and thought "that was nice".

A moment later, I realized that you were not waving at all, but pointing. I thought to myself...."Hmmmm, the garage sale sign in the corner of my yard must've blown over".....so I casually waved backed and nodded my head and got up out of my chair to fix the sign. When I reached the edge of the garage.....my heart stopped. I felt frozen. Like everything was happening in slow motion. I was trying to run so very fast, but I felt like I was moving through quick sand.

The horror I felt in my heart must surely have been seen on my face.

My dog, Bentley, was 4 houses down and my son was starting to step off the curb to cross the street. A very busy street. In his pj's.

I believe I blacked out for a moment.....that or Jesus carried me. I believe the second is true.

I scooped my child into my arms and hollered for Bentley to come back. She's a good dog. She came running back. I don't remember you and your wife and your friend still sitting there in your SUV.....but you must've been. You saw the whole thing.

I became that mom. The one that I've caught myself judging harshly so many times. "How could she not have known?" and "Where was she?" and "How irresponsible"....those are the questions I've asked myself after reading horror stories of children drowning in a bath tub or a swimming pool or being picked up on the side of the road by a stranger and never seeing their loved ones again.

Today, I was that mom.

The one who thought her precious angel was sitting in front of the TV, in his pj's, watching his favorite movie and playing with his trucks. The one who never thought to question the fact that he could stand on his tip toes, unlock the dead bolt, and wander out the front door. The one who feels as though she is the most horrible mother in the world and who no one else can judge her half as hard as she continues to judge herself. And will for a very long time.

I know these things happen. I know it's easy to say that I will learn from this mistake. I will and I have and I will continue.

But will this hole in my heart mend? Two days later and I'm still numb. The "what if's" are tearing me apart.

I am so beyond blessed and I know that there are words stronger than that to describe how I feel, but I can't find them. My mind is mush. My heart is aching.

I feel as though I owe you the world, because you saved mine. You saved my life, too.....not just my son's. And for that I am forever grateful for you and your wife and your friend.

This Thanksgiving, I will be thanking God for you, just as I will continue doing for the rest of my life.

Words will never express,

your neighbor across the street,
Missy

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Freckles

Before Grayson was born I figured people were born with freckles, or maybe it was something I never thought entirely about. Not until Grayson was born pale and unspeckled.....with the exception of a little birthmark on his scrumptious thigh.

I've always been fond of freckles. I think they're adorable on children and beautiful on adults. My brother has a Christmas tree on his knee (so cool) and my mom, who is a red head (so cool) just spent the last year lasering all of hers off.

I say, if you got 'em, flaunt 'em.

Growing up I memorized the freckled patters on my arms and legs: the pattern that forms a little dipper on my right arm......and all the countless triangle formations. I remember, in Kindergarten excitedly finding Cassiopeia on my left shoulder and how I was with the boy I had a crush on as we counted our freckles together under the slide......Cale was his name (so cool)......swoon!

I kept my favorite freckles a secret and when I couldn't find constellations on my skin I drew them myself. A giraffe down my stomach. A robot on my calf. Sometimes I would find a new freckle and give it a name. And every year more of them would appear, multiplying under the sun, having freckle babies in the night when my eyes were closed.

I have been waiting rather excitedly to see whether or not Grayson would become freckled, covered with constellations, speckled with little moles he might one day call "his favorite". They recently started to appear, the freckles, popping up like little mushrooms, light scattered specks upon his toes and nose and toddler knees.

The first freckle I noticed was on his toe. He was wearing sandals and then POW! It existed. Out of nowhere. Several weeks ago, it happened again, except this time on his cheeks-- two tiny dots appeared:


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Skin no longer a pure porcelain. When you're a new parent, every little thing becomes a major milestone, just like every silly scribble-drawing becomes a masterpiece. I am more in love with Grayson's quirks-- the things that make him unique. The little crooked teeth and how his fourth toe is longer than all his others...

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the marks and spots that appear and form, the scars.

Never trust a man who doesn't have a visible scar, I was once told by a very wise man I met on an airplane on my way home from Salt Lake City. I have no recollection of how or why the subject of "scars" or even "men" came up, but airplanes do funny things to strangers where unsolicited advice is concerned.

BTW, Kevin and I have the exact same scar in the exact same place over our right eyes.....we can be trusted.

Babies quickly become little boys who kick and pout and get dirty. Who cry and spit and fall in love. Who break hearts and toys and scar and wake up with new freckles.

I know that children grow fast, that every parent mourns the quickness of time, change, and the terrifying things that happen when innocence is replaced by intelligence. Doubt. Cynicism. It can be difficult to watch our babies become little people, every day more ringed like the trunks of trees, marked by life in all it's unpredictability. Little clouds changing so quickly it is almost possible to watch them grow, shift.

The man on the airplane was definitely right. One should never trust a man (or woman) who doesn't have any scars. And life moves fast and change is constant and children grow up, look different, start to recognize themselves in the mirror and in secret choose favorite freckles under the slide.



There is something very exciting about gazing across the vastness of new and stretching skin, watching as stars appear and constellations form. Overnight. On Grayson's face. Between his toes. Across his skin, like a canvas.

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A little sad, maybe. But mostly exciting. He is a red head. So cool!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Freakin' Fall-bulous

It is a sad day. Very sad.

I am typing these very words from my husband's laptop.

My computer has a wicked cold and I'm not sure if she's fixable.

Hopefully the Geek Squad will have her up and running soon....I just hope
I haven't lost E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

So, I am sad to say that there will be no cute pictures, no funny stories, no nothing, this week. Unless I can pry this laptop from my husband's mad death grip.


P.S.
I will be going to see New Moon on Saturday afternoon (the 21st) so if you are on Team Edward (or undecided like my Mom) please feel free to join me. Taylor lovers can come, too.....but I musn't here ANY negativity towards The Cullen's. You must call or text. I have no COMPUTER!!!!! Augh!

Also, please stay tuned for adorable (yet a little dorky) pics of Gray's new haircut. His father took him while I was serving the masses at Cheesecake on Sat.....we are finally on speaking terms again.

What can I say??? The kid is precious.....even with short (very short) hair.

It's growing on me.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Thankful Thursday

One of my favorite friends put this on her blog today and I thought it was wonderful!

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With Thanksgiving approaching I would like to devote the next few Thursdays to things I am thankful for.

I am thankful for my faith. A faith that cannot be rocked no matter how hard the wind may blow and for a God who will never forsake me.

A woman was asked by a coworker, "What is it like to be a Christian?"

The coworker replied, "It is like being a pumpkin." God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, and greed. Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see!


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I am thankful that I am Grayson's Mommy. I've prayed, hoped, and dreamed for this. To be right here. Right now.

I am thankful for my family. They are the strongest and most kind hearted people you will ever meet.....and I am one of them.

I am thankful for my husband. My rock. My best friend.

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My spider killer. My back scratcher.

What are you thankful for???

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Happy Halloween And Happy Birthday

I know, I know.....the first week of November is almost over and I'm finally posting our Halloween pictures. Shame. On. Me.

The following picture will be the only picture, out of the 83 that I took, that you will see of our cute, little dalmatian with his ears on top of his head.

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We practiced all afternoon wearing our ears and by 5 o'clock, he had had enough.
So enjoy them now, because for the remainder of this post, you will wonder what in the world he was supposed to be dressed up as.

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Halloween has always been a very special holiday in my family. It's my Daddy's birthday.

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Yep, he's a spook! So, this year I wanted to make it extra special and invite everyone over to our house to celebrate him and to watch Grayson trick or treat (by himself) for the very first time.

We had dips and chips and taco soup and then went on a very long Trick or Treating expedition.

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It was AWESOME. Our friend, Paige, came over and brought her fancy wagon

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......to which Grayson wanted nothing to do with until later that night when his little legs just gave out on him.

Our cousins, Tristan and Kaitlyn,

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also came to show Grayson the ropes on this trick or treatin' business. You know, like how to ring the door bell and say those magic words and also, how to be polite when your neighbors have sat out a bowl of candy the size of Texas on their doorstep, you should only take one. Not a handful.

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It was a beautiful Fall night. We sat out on a long journey, all 10 of us. We left Mimi and Pappi on the front porch to hand out our Halloween candy and told them we would see them later. The weather was perfect, the moon was bright, and I must say how impressed I am with our neighbors and their decorating......I was actually scared to go up to some of the doors.

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But not Grayson, oh no......he even managed to walk inside some houses.

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He was very polite and said,"thank you" each and every time someone gave him a treat. That's my boy!

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We walked and walked for what seemed like forever.......we needed to burn as many calories as possible so that we were fit to inhale our delicious birthday key lime cheesecake.

Before we rounded the last corner, Grayson decided he was done.

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Well, kind of. He hopped in the wagon with all of his treats. Laid back with a sucker in his mouth, he was ready to be pulled around.

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When he saw the other kids waddling

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I mean running up to the door, he would very calmly open his wagon door, step out, grab his goodie bag, and chase after them.

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After he received his purchases he would very calmly tell me to, "wait" and proceed to climb back in the wagon, get comfortable again, and then say, "more heindy peese" (more candy please)before going to the next house.

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Seriously. What a dude.

Pappi was surprised to open the door to a little dalmatian saying, "Heindy Peese". It was our last stop. We were home.

We sang "Happy Birthday" to Pawpaw and then gorged on cheesecake and said our goodbyes. Grayson and Paige ran around in their pj's till 10 o'clock and then it was time for bed. It was a very Happy Halloween and Birthday.

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The next day, Grayson wanted "heindy" for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I didn't give in. How could I? I had eaten most of his candy and threw away the rest. Except for a few stashes of suckers and M&M's that I know will be needed for bribery down the road.



It was a new day. A new month and a full moon. So Kev and I decided to paint the kitchen. I need you all to understand how desperately I loathe painting. Walls. I despise painting walls. I like painting furniture and recipe boxes and shelves. I had forgotten how much I truly did not enjoy painting our entire house before moving in. I like the finished product, but never the work. But I must say, "damn", it looks good!

Before

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And after.


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The pictures really don't do it justice. It's a deep sage green and I. Love. It.
We have a list of things we want to do before Thanksgiving and this was the first thing we got to mark off. Feels good. I'm seriously thinking about hiring my best friend's husband to paint the rest of the house.....I don't think I can do this again.

And last, but certainly not least, here are a few pictures of our last pumpkin patch of the season:


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Happy Fall Ya'll!!