Not So Sweet 16

Grayson turned 16 (months) and the very next day turned angry. Who knew he would suddenly grow a little temper with little horns and a tail? A red tail. Hot to the touch with a giant spade smashing around, knocking everything over.

Okay okay, so it isn't that bad. He's no spawn of Satan, just an angel turned the wrong way. Upside down and backwards.

Our little tantrum-war goes something like this:

ROUND ONE:

Mom
VS Grayson


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Mom: "Time to change your diaper!"

Grayson: Legs start kicking, arms start flailing!

Mom: "Come on, dude! You have a stinky butt and I have to change it because I'm your Mom and that's what I do!"

Grayson: (a little annoyed) Lays down but still kicks legs violently.

Mom: "Okay, fine. Be still for just one more.....NO GRAYSON!!!! We don't grab our diaper and try to throw it at Mommy's face! That's SO not nice!"

Grayson: (standing and jumping .5 seconds later, naked from the waist down) AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

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Mom: "Do you need a nap, Mister? I think someone still has his cranky pants on and needs to go night night"(gentley lays him down in the crib and sneaks away through hysterical crying)

Five minutes later after pacing and holding my hands over my ears and almost crying from the guilt of leaving my screaming child alone in his crib...

Grayson: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHBLOODYMURDERAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mom: (crying) I can't bear another minute of this!!!!

Grayson: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHCOMEGETMEYOUCRAZYLADY!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mom: (running to his bedroom so his head doesn't fall off from crying) "I'm coming, Bubby! I'm right (busts door open) here."

Grayson: (Stops crying and smiles, laughs and holds arms up) "Mim!"*

Mom: "You are such a fake! I don't even see tears. No Mims! Psh, whateva, I'm outta here. Sleep tight." (walks out)

REPEAT X 5 until...

Grayson: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHI'LLTEACHYOUTOLEAVEMEHEREALONE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mom: "You win. You SO win." (giving him an M&M and laying him back down)

Grayson: Zzzzzzzzzzz (Out like a light)

Grayson: 1
Mom: 0

ROUND TWO:

Mom
VS Grayson



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Mom: Goooooodnight nappy-face!

Grayson: Dibbadibbadooooooooo Dibbbb Dibbb Duppdiibbbbba Dooooo.

Mom: Love you too! (creeps out of room)

Grayson: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH x infinity

Mom: (goes into my room with a magazine and reads about whatever new diet is happening in VOGUE. Cries because I cannot afford to wear head to toe Chanel around the house all day. Walks back in the kitchen greeted by light-whimpers. Thinks, "yes. I can handle light-whimpers." Handles light-whimpers until SILENCE...)

...tip-toes into Grayson's room to find him dead asleep like this:

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Hunched over like a drunk during naptime and I had won. BY GOD I HAD WON! I gave myself a high-five and whispered very quietly...


"...Woo Hoo!"

Current Score:
Grayson: 1
Mom: 1

* Mim = m&m (I'm not sure how to make this obsession stop. He knows where the m&ms are hidden and will walk to the cabinet and point saying, "Mim, Miiiiim" untill he gets one.
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(to be continued)