Well, Hello Big Boy!

Our pacifier relationship could be a modern day love story – a movie opening with a wistful hope, cutting to a tearful rejection, ultimately reaching a consummation of worshipful adoration, deteriorating into an obsession, leading to abandonment, and finally the promise of a healthier future.

Despite dire warnings from other parents, I placed the pacifier in Grayson's tiny mouth when he was just weeks old.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing Being a brand new mother, not knowing anything, I was terrified of SIDS and had read that sucking on a pacifier would cut the risks in half. He thoughtfully sucked for a fraction of a second and then spit the plug out. Finally, with the “Happiest Baby on the Block “reverse psychology” trick, he began to accept the pacifier and we embarked on a love/hate relationship.

As in, he loved the pacifier, I hated it.

Soon, the very thing he had rejected became the object of his desire. We dubbed the pacifier his “sassy”
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing and it went EVERYWHERE Grayson went. I remember he would cry every time he lost it in his sleep, so, being the genius mom I am, I would put him down in his crib with about 6 of those little suckers scattered around his head, desperately hoping that he would accidentally bump into one and it would magically hop into his mouth. No luck.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo PrintingFinally, around 7 months, he was old enough to find it in his crib and stick it back in his mouth. HALLELUJAH!! Finally sleep! Real sleeping-through-the-night kind of sleep! Each morning, after feeling SO rested, I would move his crib from the wall and find about 10-12 sassies lined up. They would fall between the slats during his slumber.

Then there was the short-lived phase when he spent most of our dinners out dunking his pacifier in a glass of water. An adult would have to hold the water to avoid spills. We would have frozen hands and wet sleeves, but at least it kept him amused and quiet.

As Grayson grew and was able to identify shapes and textures, he became attached to "specific" sassies. Heaven forbid we could not locate the correct round, plastic, Gerber sassy before bedtime.

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We knew that, eventually, baby and his “sassy” must part ways but he was not ready and neither were we. At 8 months he finally started sleeping through the night every single night. Sleep was more important than saying goodbye to the sassy, which is how I justified its continued use to the doctor at baby’s 1 year appointment and then again at his 18 month checkup.

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We limited their time together from 18 months, on, but the addiction only grew more intense from the separations. Pacifiers were restricted to the car seat and the crib only. Kiddo had no problem with the idea that other babies might have their binky at the library while he had to wait until he was home. Once we were home, however, all bets were off.
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing He would make excuses for going to his room, only to make a beeline for the treasured possession. He even knew to crawl under his crib if ever he couldn't find one. Smart little dude.

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We began reading books, with titles like “Pacifiers are Not Forever” and "Bye Bye Pacifier". I had high hopes for a magical transformation once we moved into our new house but, the way things were going, we might not be in our own house until well after his 2nd birthday. I promised Dr. Nail that we would say goodbye to sassy
Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printingbefore seeing him again at our 24 month visit.

When Gray turned 21 months, I honestly didn't see an end in our future.

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Although he had long since cut all his teeth, I started to notice he was chewing on the pacifier. As with most obsessive relationships, this one had become unhealthy–dangerous, even. I feared he might bite off a piece of the pacifier and choke. Obediently, our little man would toss each "broken" sassy, knowing that we would go shop soon for replacements. I noticed that the certain "Gerber" sassies that we had been devoted to for months, was no longer on the shelves. Panic set in. We were down to 5.

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The countdown had begun. (cue eery music..."Dun Dun Ta Dunnnnn")

Then, one day, Daddy told him that when the last pacifier broke, there would be no more. As each sassy went into the trash, I grew increasingly anxious. When would the last one fall?

S-Day could not have come at a better time.

My Father-in-law left for Vietnam this past Thursday, so I decided that would be the perfect time. He could cry and scream all night if he must, but there would be no sleep-deprived Pappi in the mornings. Only the "Trinity" with patience...Me, daddy, and Mimi. With Daddy at work, Mimi and Mommy were left to face the sassy-less, miserable toddler alone.

He woke up in good spirits, so after breakfast, I whisked him away to the park. The plan was to let him run and jump and swing and stomp until he tired his little heart out and would then fall asleep in the car on the ride home. I would then, quietly carry him to his crib and he would sleep his usual 4 hour nap.

Not so.

He would not fall asleep in the car because I forgot to bring a sassy. No sassy, no sleepy!

When we got back to my in-laws, I gave him his sassies. He looked at me like, "WTHeck?" You see, instead of just cutting the tips off so they would no longer suck, I cut the whole nipple off.....so all that was left was a little sphere of plastic.

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He fought me for almost two hours before FINALLY giving it up and passing out. He slept for almost 2 hours and when he woke, he grabbed his nipple-less sassies, shoved them in each of my pockets, and went on about his day.

Surprisingly, each day has gotten a little better. We went to the park again on Friday (Day 2) and he grabbed two nipple-less sassies out of his crib and stuck them in my pocket. For safe keeping, perhaps?

Overall, it has been surprisingly easy to say goodbye to what was once a far (very far) off dream. I once, truly believed that my child would enter middle school (possibly college) with his old, beat up sassy.

I’m so proud of my Big, little man. It has been very bittersweet, for me......I no longer see a baby before me, only a sassy-less toddler.

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Grayson, you are growing up so fast.....just don’t grow up too fast, baby!