The Potty Chronicles: Chapter II

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Or maybe you would prefer:

Potty Training Little Boys: A View From the Cheap Seats

Okay.....you're not supposed to laugh.

I'm at a standstill. Last week, I received a wild hair up my rear after clipping a coupon for $3 off any potty at Toys R Us. I know. I'm obsessed with coupons and saving money and I can teach you how to obsess too, for a small fee ;).

So, I thought to myself, "Self, don't let this $3 coupon go to waste.....you must go to this Toys R Us and purchase this potty for $29 instead of $32 before it expires".

I mean....right?

And okay, so what if we already had a perfectly fine $3 potty from IKEA (yes I said $3) that he had already peed on a number of times. I've had my eye on this shiny new potty for months.....it has all the bells and whistles, 5 stars from reviewers, and it matches the book that I've been reading to him for months. They were destined to be together!

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So, I bring home the potty and a 300-count bag of mini tootsie roll pops and not one but FOUR bags of M&M's (plain and peanut) and 6 pairs of big boy underwear. I was ready to roll! But it was dinner time and I felt maybe I should wait until tomorrow to start fresh and new with this potty training business.

I took Big Boy Potty out of the box and assembled it and left Grayson to sniff and poke and prod. He grabbed his plastic tools and immediately un-assembled it and put it back together no less than 6 times. We said "night night" to Big Boy Potty and went to sleep.

We woke the next day to a perfect potty-training day! The birds were chirping, the squirrels were singing, and Mr. Bright Eyed and Bushy tailed was ready to make contact. I woke him from his slumber and took off his 5 lb diaper and sat him on his throne. He had his bowl of Cheerios on a table in front of him and Handy Manny on the screen. What male doesn't find the perfection in this?


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My best friend successfully potty trained her daughter in no less than 30 seconds. Or so it seemed to me. She gave her an M&M every time she went tee tee and a sucker for every poo poo. Genius!

So, at first, Gray was all gun-ho. "Cool, I get to sit on a new chair and watch my shows with my Cheerios's.....with no diaper on" and I just sat there patiently waiting.....waiting for that tiny little trickle that would turn into singing and dancing and hooray-ing!

And I sat. And I sat. And then I went to the kitchen to get my own bowl of cereal, when I heard it. No, not the singing and hooray-ing, but the, "Ah oh momma....wet".
He had gotten up to follow me to the kitchen......and you know the rest. Tee tee on the floor.

No problem, we've got wood floors. Breathe. "Yay Grayson went tee tee.....here's an M&M". Yes, I gave my son an M&M for going tee tee on the floor.

Because I know him. I carried him in my belly for 38 1/2 weeks. He would want another. And he would do just about ANYTHING to get one. Sneaky? Perhaps. Smart? Absolutely!

I knew he would ask for "Mo num nums?" and he did and I said, "Grayson, if you sit on Big Boy Potty and go tee tee, you can have more yummies".

And so he did. Five hours, nine tee tees, and nine M&M's later, he was over it.

So we went outside to play in the back yard. Diaper less. Another trusted friend (and Realtor), told me this was the best way to potty train a little boy.....and she should know, she raised two of them!

At first, he was timid.....the grass hadn't been mowed in about 2 weeks and the weeds were tickling his "fellas". He wouldn't sit on his Big Wheel or go down his slide (smart little guy) and he kept saying, "tee tee momma" and grabbing his crotch. But no tee tee outside that day. I guess he just wasn't feeling it. So, after dinner, he tee tee'd about 3 more times on Big Boy Potty and that was that.

Next morning, nothing. Done. Don't even look at me Big Boy Potty.

I asked him to sit on his potty and he said, "No". Flat out. Nope. Uh uh. I bribed him with a sucker and still no sitting on potty.

What could have possibly happened between last night and now? Not even a sucker?? I checked his temperature. He was fine. Just done with the potty......for now.



Send your kids to trick or treat at my house.....I have 299 suckers.