*Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."
I don't know your name, I don't know if you believe in angels, I'm not sure if you even believe in God.
What I do know, is that my God sent you to be my son's guardian angel on Saturday and for that, I will be forever grateful to you.
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It all happened so fast.
I was sitting in my garage, reading a magazine......waiting for 12 o' clock to come so I could close down the garage sale that had been exhausting me for the last two days. It was twenty minutes past eleven and I noticed you had an overnight guest who was putting her suitcase in her car. A few minutes later, you and your guest and your wife got in your SUV and started backing down your driveway. When you put your car in drive, you stopped abruptly and waved to me through your window. I waved back and thought "that was nice".
A moment later, I realized that you were not waving at all, but pointing. I thought to myself...."Hmmmm, the garage sale sign in the corner of my yard must've blown over".....so I casually waved backed and nodded my head and got up out of my chair to fix the sign. When I reached the edge of the garage.....my heart stopped. I felt frozen. Like everything was happening in slow motion. I was trying to run so very fast, but I felt like I was moving through quick sand.
The horror I felt in my heart must surely have been seen on my face.
My dog, Bentley, was 4 houses down and my son was starting to step off the curb to cross the street. A very busy street. In his pj's.
I believe I blacked out for a moment.....that or Jesus carried me. I believe the second is true.
I scooped my child into my arms and hollered for Bentley to come back. She's a good dog. She came running back. I don't remember you and your wife and your friend still sitting there in your SUV.....but you must've been. You saw the whole thing.
I became that mom. The one that I've caught myself judging harshly so many times. "How could she not have known?" and "Where was she?" and "How irresponsible"....those are the questions I've asked myself after reading horror stories of children drowning in a bath tub or a swimming pool or being picked up on the side of the road by a stranger and never seeing their loved ones again.
Today, I was that mom.
The one who thought her precious angel was sitting in front of the TV, in his pj's, watching his favorite movie and playing with his trucks. The one who never thought to question the fact that he could stand on his tip toes, unlock the dead bolt, and wander out the front door. The one who feels as though she is the most horrible mother in the world and who no one else can judge her half as hard as she continues to judge herself. And will for a very long time.
I know these things happen. I know it's easy to say that I will learn from this mistake. I will and I have and I will continue.
But will this hole in my heart mend? Two days later and I'm still numb. The "what if's" are tearing me apart.
I am so beyond blessed and I know that there are words stronger than that to describe how I feel, but I can't find them. My mind is mush. My heart is aching.
I feel as though I owe you the world, because you saved mine. You saved my life, too.....not just my son's. And for that I am forever grateful for you and your wife and your friend.
This Thanksgiving, I will be thanking God for you, just as I will continue doing for the rest of my life.
Words will never express,
your neighbor across the street,
Missy
6 comments:
OH My....this brought tears to my eyes!! Yes God is always with us and watches over every move we make. I could only imagine how your heart is pounding...you are a fantastic Mommy...don't ever forget that!!!!
Oh my gosh Missy! I am so sorry this happened. I can not even imagine your fear. Know that you are an awesome Mom and the God was watching out for you and Grayson. Be grateful that this happened and not something worse. You have to forgive yourself and learn from this! I love you so much. You and your family are always in my prayers!
Missy,
The way we Mommys torture ourselves when we make mistakes is so much worse than everything else. Just try to hear our Savior speak softly, that Grayson is never out of His sight... and that you are worthy of that precious baby boy. No one can do the job like you can. You are chosen and trusted, and equipped for your journey with Grayson. Let yourself feel sick about what happened, and learn from it, and share your story whenever you can. Surely, this post will help other Moms you may never know... And could save a child who may not have been otherwise. Keep your chin up, girl. Love.
Wow! How scary! Praise the Lord it all turned out ok. You are not a bad mom..these toddlers of ours are just super crazy:) Hang in there friend!
Just know bad things can happen to great mommies! We all know how awesome of a mom you are! No matter how much we try to protect our children we will be challenged everyday to keep up with what they are doing... Keep your chin up and be thankful we have an awesome savior to help us thru times like these... Love you and give my precious nephew a kiss for me!
Praise the Lord! He sent your neighbor just in time to save you and Grayson and to help teach all of us a valuable lesson. Like I said today, let this frighten you but please don't think for one second that you are not a wonderful mother. It is scary how fast something can happen but thank God, this was only what did happen. I love you.
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