Dear Dann Ontz,

All of my adult life I've lived in an apartment. As well as all of my married life. With apartment living comes pesky neighbors, hot and not-so-hot (free) maintenance men, and rent due on the 1st but not late till the 3rd. I honestly thought that living in a house would be nothing like apartment dwelling.

I was wrong. In more ways than one.

You see sir, we have pesky neighbors. And by pesky, I mean pests. And by pests I mean YOU. Ants. "Dann Ontz" when pronounced by Grayson. He's two. And if you even think of biting his sweet, delicate, perfect skin.....Deep breath, relax Missy .

It's cute that he tries to say "Dang Ants" like Mommy, but you, "Dann Ontz" are SO. NOT. CUTE.

I realize that we moved in on your turf a little less than 2 months ago, but seriously??? Get the hint. We are here to stay. You need to leave. We pay the rent....you don't.

Bentley's dog bones are not yours, nor is her food. When most peoples homes are destroyed by fire, tornadoes, or...um... poison.....they tend to rebuild elsewhere. Not in the same "dann" spot.

I was told by my husband to call the X-Terminator today....and you know what? I didn't. I didn't because I thought you had finally gotten the hint and packed your belongings and high-tailed it outta here.

My mistake.

You really pushed it over the limit when I saw that you had infested my undie drawer today. Big mistake, dude. Big. Huge.



Heed my warning Dann Ontz:

You will meet your Maker on Monday!

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing
(And although he won't be free....I pray that he's hot)


Sorry it had to come to this.
A very disturbed, undie-less house wife