8 Beautiful Months...

and it's gone by so incredibly fast, my love! Next week you will be turning 9 months....NINE! How is this possible?? You have now been in this world as long as you were inside of me.





How surreal.

In your busy little eight months you have accomplished SO much! You now have two little pearly whites and a smile bigger than Dallas!

I love your smile....it's so contagious. The way you squinch up your little nose and breathe in and out so fast that you sound like a little snorting piglet, all the while smiling from ear to ear. Our "Smiley Rylee"...that's what we call you.

Oh Punky, you are just a joy to be around and can make every day brighter just by being you!

Your chunky, little butt is wearing size 12 month clothes and are still in size 3 diapers. You are nursing 5-6 times a day and still taking 3 naps. I put you down around 7:30-8:00 and you stick your sweet, little hands underneathe your tummy and poke your butt up in the air and fall fast asleep. All you need is your waterfall turned on, your glo worm, and your sassies. I scatter about half a dozen in your crib so that if you wake you can always find one. You must have some sort of game going on in the middle of the night to see just how far that you can chunk those suckers because when I come in the next morning, there are sassies sprinkled all over the floor like fairy dust.

I took your bumper pads off your crib this month because you started untying the ribbons and chewing on them. Busted.

You started off on all fours at the beginning of the month, rocking back and forth, back and forth. That lasted for about a minute. The next couple of days you started army crawling, dragging one dead leg behind you...too funny! And now, now you're off. You're so fast!! I can put you down in your room to play with your toys and a second later I hear the pitter patter of chubby knees and hands on the hard wood floor coming down the hallway. You stop to dabble with the door stop and then "pitter patter", there you go again looking for Momma.

My sweet lil' Momma's girl!!

Everyone says what a Momma's Girl you are and they're right....and that's ok by me because in 12-15 years, you're not gonna wanna have anything to do with me, so I'll take all that I can get of this precious loving right now.

Rylee, you love your big brother SO much!! You are so intrested in everything that he's saying and watching every move he makes....and one day soon, you'll be swiping toys from him left and right.

He has no idea what's in store! He loves you so much, always encouraging you

to crawl and clapping when you try so hard to pull yourself up. And when you're stuck and can't sit back down on your own....he's right there gently pulling you back down into his lap. Such the protector of his little Sissy! He thanks God every night for you....every.single.night. We all do, angel.

You have made this family complete. Your infectious laugh, your beautiful spirit, your sassy attitude...we love every bit of you!

~Love Mama

Flashback Friday

Sometimes I Forget....

...to pray for things.



I think I have all my ducks in a row....lined up on a cute little shelf in my mind and then when something happens unexpectedly,like a duck falling off my shelf, I think to myself...."hmmmm, I forgot to pray for that" and then I pick that duck off the dusty floor and wipe it off and replace it right back where it belongs. There you go little duck.


Random I know. Ducks....thoughts.

But not really.

Unless it's smacking me in the face, like when one of my children is sick, I sometimes forget to pray for things. Like, I pray, but usually it's for someone that is hurting, or for health, or as things come up, or a wide covering prayer, not too specific. I am still trying to understand the way He provides because there are so many blessings that come into our life.



And some other things that are really frivolous but definitely not un-noticed by me. I wonder, if these prayers said quietly in my heart but not out loud are still answered, what could happen if I am actually on my knees?

Not that it works that way, like a God-vending machine. Prayers go in and and I get what I want. Not at all.

But I know He hears me anyway.

How often I feel like maybe I have everything I really need, so anything extra would be... asking for too much? Who am I to ask for anything? My God, I lie next to my child and think, I didn't ask for my child to breathe today yet she has breath. Thank you. Thank you God. I know it's because of you! I'm so thankful.

What more could I ask for?

And then I close my eyes and really think about it and outside of my head I see that maybe I need to stop thinking it's up to me. What if what's happening to us is in response to someone else's prayer?

Someone else on their knees, on my behalf?




I'm so humbled.

It's so big......this life.

And we are so very small.

Life turns and I spin

and I roll with it

and I want to land where He wants me to be.



Which is probably on my knees.

Im a professional at pretend.

For some reason I had this weird rule in my head that I need a photo with every post. When did that happen? And like if I don't, I won't have inspiration any other way.

Or maybe I just use it as distraction.

So that's probably why I sat down here with nothing to say at all....why I've gone for almost an entire month without blogging. Plenty I wish I could say, but I can't. That and the fact that my computer caught yet another virus so I didn't have the means to blog for a few weeks anyhow.

I'm tired of the small talk.

Why am I so hard on myself for not posting Rylee's 8 month post on the right day?? I haven't even written it yet. I'm also tired of telling Gray to stop calling Ry names that start with poop and I want Harlow to stop waking up every.single.morning. at 5:50 because she's hungry, and I want Kevin to just once, not hit the snooze button 547 times. I want to cease the examining of everything they do, thinking it's because of something I've done to make them this way, or that. Or what I'm turning them into.

We have so many good days. SO many. Maybe that's why the bads come as more of a shock. I don't know. Because it can deceive my mind into erasing when I do get it right and only focusing on what I get wrong. And I am an optimist, so I don't let on, I don't speak it out, and I certainly don't write it out, and instead hoard it within.

And maybe it's what we do, we all walk around with small talk on our sleeves and our hearts coffin-ed somewhere deep; we distract and are distracted and we make fun of anyone that makes us uncomfortable.

Because we think that's how it's supposed to be.


I'll be back to normal in a few.

Toes

His.



Hers.

Baby Piggies make me crazy. I'm always amazed that those are the same little footsies that kicked me while they were in my tummy! Seriously though, are they not scrumptiously delish?




And don't even get me started on scraped-up-dirty-little- boy-toes.........I'm obsessed.









I take pictures of them all the time as if those ten little toes change every day.










I love you, my Littles.....my Sunshines.....My Rylee-Pop and Punkin Butt.From your top side to your bottom, from your smiles to your pouty-lip cries...I love every bit of you.

A New Addition

It's been exactly 10 months. Ten months since we said our "Goodbyes"....ten months for our hearts to mend. And although they haven't truly healed...there will always be missing parts that she took with her, but they are mending. The hole isn't quite so large.....anymore.

I told Kevin that I was ready. I had prepped myself and sucker-punched my cheeks and yes, I was ready. I was ready to let another in. To invite another outsider in to my intimate family circle. I wasn't ready to replace her.....it still brings tears to my eyes to whisper her name....but I was ready to try to love again.


Let me make it clear that I have never, in my 32 years, ever had to put a pet to sleep. Bentley wasn't just a pet. She was our baby. Kevin and I picked her out, together, nine years ago.....she was "our" baby. She was family. And to replace her, well...that wasn't possible.

But, I was willing and ready to try to mend.



And her name is Harlow. Harlow Jean. And she's perfect. And as much as I wanted and needed her to be and look just like Bentley....she's not. She's her.


You would think that a 3 year old would forget. But he didn't. He asked about her almost every day......for 10 months. We told him that she was sick, that we couldn't fix her, that she went to Heaven.....we tried to keep it blunt. Simple. Jesus is taking care of her now.





No one wants to explain death to a 3 year old.

How is it even possible?

Will he think every time one of us gets "sick" we will leave him??? How does a 3 year old decipher the different types of sickness?






It broke our hearts to hear, "I willy miss hur...why can't Jesus fix hur, Mom?"


It broke me in a million ways to not be able to fix his sadness....to make it better.




I had to heal. We all had to heal. And now, we're starting over. From scratch....a puppy.

A FREAKING puppy!!!


I told Kev I was ready and he surprised me....for our 6th anniversary, he gave me Harlow.

I had all intentions of naming her "Bentley". I truly thought that if she looked just like her, it would make it easier. We asked Gray and he said he wanted to call her Bentley. But when Kev brought her home......she just wasn't.





Yes, she looked just.like.her.

But she definitely wasn't her. She was herself.



Her sweet, sassy, independent, feisty self.



And spending just a few short moments with her, I knew she needed her own name....she wanted to make sure that we knew she was different.

We named her Harlow after the original blond bombshell "Jean Harlow"....I love old, classic movies and secretly wanted to name Rylee "Harlow", but Kevin vetoed it as soon as it came out of my mouth. Jean Harlow's birthday is March 3, which coincidentally, is the same day that Kev brought our "little blond bombshell" home....her death was in June...which coincidentally was the same month that we lost Bentley.

We love this new little priss with all of our hearts!


And she's an absolute mess. A prissy, little mess.

Happy 7 Months, Lovie~Bug!!!

"You are my sunshine My only sunshine You make me happy when skies are grey You'll never know dear how much I love you Please don't take my sunshine away".


Rylee Ann~


You make every day brighter. More perfect than the day before. I can go to bed exhausted, beaten, and wilted and when I see your smiley face in the morning....I'm rejuvenated.

Smiley Rylee.

You're like the $35 eye cream that I can't bring myself to buy.

A soul replenisher of sorts.

You are my joy.


At 7 months, you are quite the entertainer, Rylee-bug.

From the moment you wake in the morning til the last sigh before collapsing in my arms at night.....you are a joy to be around. Always smiling, always cooing...you are pure.fantastic.joy.








This past month, you have blossomed into such a big, little girl! You can sit for hours on end...in the bath....on the floor....in a chair.....you're just sittin' pretty, Love!


You can eat big girl foods, too! You love avocados, bananas, and pears.....cheerios, puffs, and yum yums (rice crackers). You can hold a sippy cup like no-bodies-business and have even been known to hold your own bottle!

Mommy took an overnight trip to Houston again, and you....you rocked it out! You stayed your very first night with Nana and Pawpaw for Mommy and Daddy's 6th anniversary and then you stayed your very first night with Mimi and Pappi for Mommy's 32nd bday. B.I.G.G.I.R.L.


Mommy was SO proud to hear that you slept through the night on both occasions!!

For the last 3 weeks, you have been sleeping through the night! We put you to bed around 8 and don't hear a peep from you until 8 the next morning!! You are still taking 3 naps a day.....the first about an hour after you wake up, the second around lunch time, and the third around 3 or 4 in the afternoon.


You are nursing about 5-6 times a day. I usually give you a 1/2 jar of baby food in the afternoon and you eat rice cereal and the 2nd half of the jar at the dinner table with us in the evening.


You cut your first tooth this month!!! 3/18/11....I noticed it finally popped through while we were out for dinner.....so I gave you avocado to celebrate and you LOVED it!

You are still wearing 6-9 months, sz 3 diapers, and sz 1 shoe.


Can I just tell you how freakin fabulous it is having a girl?!! I love dressing you...I love planning what you will wear tomorrow...what flower I will put in your hair. Will you be preppy or romantic....rocker or chic???? It makes my heart so happy!

Ry....you give kisses and loves like no other! I press my nose to your mouth and inhale your sweet-sour-milk-medicine-smell-breath.....and it is Heaven.

I love how you get me. You know what I need, when I need it. Sometimes, just the sweet touch of your little hand on my face.....oh, it gets me! You, in your own little way, tell me to "Relax Momma, this is it.....enjoy, breathe....bask in the glow....this is what you have always wanted......it's yours now."


I love you Rylee-pop, Button-blue, Lovie-girl......you are my "Ever After"....


~Momma